Home Shopping is so FUCKING COOL!
September 28, 2008 by Chet Bolten
Filed under Products
Home shopping is the latest craze right now and it is pretty fucking cool. All you have to do is watch TV and use the phone. BOOM! you have cool shit coming right to the front door of your trailer. I think this TV shopping network stuff is going to be the next big consumer vehicle for the 21st century. Unless of course they figure out how to sell stuff on the interwebs but that’s a little far fetched. The technology just isn’t available yet.
Pretty Fucking Cool Item #1
Tony Little is a huge douche and needs to impale himself on a Nordic Trac
Whether you’re a fitness newbie, workout junkie or complete moron Tony Little’s Gazelle Performance 300 with Workout DVD gives you the tools you need spend a ridiculous amount of money on a shitty elliptical and neglect it for years to come!
Seriously though this is one of the coolest items you can buy on TV right now. Obvioulsy you wont be using it for its intended purpose but it makes a hell of a catapult. Just add bungee cords and you can storm any castle with fucking coolness. Catapulting shit around the yard is the perfect activity after sucking down a Baconator from Wendys.
Pretty Fucking Cool Item #2
This is really crystal meth
Through out the years I have bought thousands of dollars of crystal meth. After smoking all of my money I realized that the smart thing to do would be making it myself. You know, its cheaper. Anyway I found that you can use this product to make crystal meth instead of human fetus. It’s a lot cheaper and easier to manage. I even had the opportunity to call in and give a testimonial on the air the last time they were selling this stuff. Everyone agreed that I was the coolest fucking person they ever talked to and enjoyed my insight on modern crystal meth production.
Pretty Fucking Cool Item #3
Multi-Purpose Hams
This is by far the most usefull product on any home shopping channel.
