CFPoY 2008: The Submissions are coming in!
January 3, 2009 by Chet Bolten
Filed under Featured, What losers are saying
Surprisingly, there have been over 20 submissions to the CFPoY 2009 and we are only 3 days into the contest.
On the 15th of January 2009, the final 10 will be picked and set up for voting on the site.
Send your buddy’s picture in with a brief explanation why they are fucking cool and watch the magic happen.
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER A COOL MOTHER F’ER
OMFG GUYS HUNTER RAIN BOOTS ARE AWESOME
January 2, 2009 by Chet Bolten
Filed under Products
My friend Sammi says that Hunter Rain Boots are like totally in and they are awesome. Nobody knows about them yet so you should get a pair before they blow up home girls. Sammi says they are like real boots, people go horse back riding in them and shit like that.
The Top 10 Douche Bags of 2008
January 1, 2009 by Chet Bolten
Filed under Cool Updates, Featured, What losers are saying
Here is the top ten douche bags of 2008. I hope you study this and add your comment saying that you agree with every one of these. If you don’t agree with this list just remember that you suck and that you probably disagree with everyone cooler than you.
#10 HBO
Another FAIL!
Every time I get into a show they fucking cancel it. This year it was John from Cincinnati and I still have not forgotten about Lucky Louie or Deadwood.
#9 Bernard Madoff
The video clip sums this cock bag up. In addition to rolling over a bunch of greedy and already rich fucks, this asshole fucked his own family members over. What a winner! No matter what the sum of money is, never do business with friends or family because you might just become a douche bag in their eyes.
#8 Countrywide Home Loans
Adjustable FTW!
Yea so what, Countrywide isn’t an actual person but the company as a whole is a bunch of douche bags. From the shitty customer service to the fucked up billing methods, these guys are huge douche bags 360 degrees. Fuck you Cunt-try-wide. Oh and to the millions of retards that thought that an adjustable rate would be a good idea early last year: GO FUCK YOURSELF! Remember, get a fixed rate kids.
#7 Tom Cruise
Who the fuck stars in a movie as a Nazi and doesn’t even attempt to speak with a German accent. Tom Cruise sucks and is an official douche bag. I plan on doing this top 10 douche bag list every year and I promise you that Tom Cruise has a permanent place on this list.
#6 David Blaine
Douche or Tool?
Seriously? How bout that hang upside down stunt huh? Fucking awesome Blaine. This guy has been a douche for a long time and shows no signs of slowing down. He has fans and that is a dangerous thing for a douche bag to have. I would now like to direct you towards this. My favorite D.Blaine parody.
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A contest is brewing.
December 21, 2008 by Chet Bolten
Filed under Coolest Fucking Person Of Year, Literature you need to buy now., What losers are saying
On January 1, 2009 be here. The greatest contest to ever be held on the interwebs will begin. Anyone can enter, anyone can win.
This is going to be so fucking cool. FUCKING EPIC!@!@$#
December 21, 2008 by Chet Bolten
Filed under Coolest Fucking Person Of Year, Literature you need to buy now., What losers are saying
Contest Starts: January 1, 2009
Ends: January 15, 2009
After Dec 30, 2008 you can send submissions to god@iamsofuckingcool.com or
enter using the web form at http://www.iamsofuckingcool.com/cfp2009/
All entries will we be accepted. Only 100 entries will be eligible for voting.
Online public voting begins January 15, 2009.
Back when Chet and I…
December 12, 2008 by Millhouse Northington
Filed under What losers are saying
Northington Family Crest
Back when Chet and I attended University in my hometown of Coolasfuckshire, England, Chet and I devised a plan to score women that were straight 10’s! It was a cool as fuck plan that worked, every time! Chet and I would buy cases of the cheapest beer and preflight before heading out to the club. While at the club we would find a group of easy, mediocre woman and grant their wish by talking to them. Being as fucking cool as we are, they would never object to returning to our place for a bang, but only beg for the opportunity. By the time we got back to the house, we would pick up where we left off on the cases of beer and drink them to a 10 status and do what we pleased with them. Though they may not have been 10’s by the time we woke up, they were 10’s by the time we kicked them out! I know some of you may have some questions or health concerns about such a fucking cool method, but if you do, I have your answers. The answer is we kept shots of Penicillin close by, and they received a complimentary morning after pill upon their departure. Here’s a little tip; when it comes to diseases, don’t be so scared of them, you don’t have to wrap it, be so fucking cool that you actually out smart VD! This way, natural selection remains in effect and dumb asses die and cool as fuck people, like me, live on!
